请你提供具体的内容呀，没有相关内容我没法准确写出在一个女人身上寻求的是什么呢。比如她的性格特点、品质、情感特质等方面的相关描述等。

你们可能想象不到，我年轻的时候也是写过小说的。

我人生写作的高点，也许就是这个了。在巴黎的莎士比亚书店成立一百周年的时候，我给书店写了一个中篇小说，最后被收录在书店的 archieve 里。

这个小说受电影《Before Sunset》的对话启发，是一男一女因为错发的邮件在多年后 reconnect，开始了每周一篇来回的邮件，探讨人生、生活、爱情和理想。

以下这篇是这个中篇小说的一个选段。写作的时候是纯英文的，后来我自己只给这一个选段加上了中文翻译。

What Do You Look for in Your Lover?

你在一个女人身上寻求的是什么?

Hum...To answer this question.

回答你的那个问题，我在一个女人身上寻求的是什么。

I recognize that whoever l choose to be with will never be perfect， as aren't l， so all l require of her is that she loves herself most of all but she would never trade respect (for me and for her) for a fleeting moment of happiness.

我意识到无论我选择和谁在一起，她永远都不可能是完美的，我也不是。

所以我对她的要求仅仅是，她最爱的是自己，她也不会为了我或者她自己牺牲一丝尊严来换取一瞬的欢愉。

That she can be very happy and strong without me， but she chooses to start every morning and end every day with me by her side.

没有了我，她也一样能够活得坚强和快乐，但是她却选择了和我一同开始每一个清晨结束每一个夜晚。

All l require of her is that she has her own dreams and hopes， but that it's me she wants to share her successes and failures.

All that l require of her is that her outlook is optimistic and that when I'm gone she'll continue to live as a strong and happy person.

我对她的期望仅仅是，她有自己的梦想和期冀，但是她选择了和我一起分享她的成功和失败；我所希望的是，她永远带着乐观积极的态度，即便我离开了，她也依然能继续追寻她的美好生活。

I don't have any specific attributes l particularly look for in a person because l appreciate the diversity in people and what their unique personalities and characters have to offer.

I have found myself attracted to people l know rationally l should not， but l just am and the only explanation l could think of would be her unique personality， that she is different， that she has an interesting story to tell...

没有什么特质是我想从一个女人身上刻意寻求的，因为我欣赏人的多样性，我喜欢她们在我面前呈现的她们自己的独特魅力和有趣个性。我还发现我会被那些我本不应该在一起的人吸引，但是我的理性却无法拉住我，唯一的解释也许就是，我在她身上发现了一点特别的什么，她是不同的，她是有故事的。

What l can say are the things l do not want in my friends or lovers， and they are self-conceit， selfishness， and closed-mindedness. l can deal with someone who possess one of these undesirable qualities， and sometimes two of them. But， when someone possess all three， l deem time spent with this person or group of people a complete waste， so l walk away.

我所清楚的只是我不想在我朋友和恋人身上看见哪些特质——自负、自私、封闭。如果一个人身上有这样一个，甚至是两个缺点，我也许还能应付。但是如果一个人把这三个都占了，我会断然认为和这个人在一起完全是浪费时间，所以我会径直走开。

I was shocked when I discovered how easy it is in life to part ways with people forever. 

It's taken years for me to understand that most of us wander in and out of one another's lives until not time and space， but negligence does us part - and heart's weariness are the blander executioners of human connection.

这些年，我才后知后觉，人和人之间不经意地就永远地断了联系有多么容易。

很久之后，我才明白，我们大多数人在彼此的生命中进进出出，最终将我们分开的从来都不是时间或空间，而是不刻意维系（是的，维系永远必须是刻意的）——心里的疏忽和疲惫，才是人和人关系里更无声的终结者。  

That’s why when I find someone I want to keep in my life， I do something about it.

这就是为什么，当遇到一个我想要留在我生命里的人的时候，我一定会努力做点什么。

本文来自微信公众号：彭萦 Ying，作者：彭萦